Why children throw temper tantrums – how to deal with them?
Yes, today we will analyse “Temper tantrums” of our loved ones.
A tantrum is the expression of a young child’s frustration with the challenges of the moment. Your child is having trouble figuring something out or completing a specific task. Your child doesn’t have the vocabulary or can’t find the words to express his or her feelings. Frustration might trigger anger — resulting in a temper tantrum.
There might be no foolproof way to prevent tantrums, but there’s plenty you can do to encourage good behaviour in even the youngest children.
-
Be consistent. Establish a daily routine so that your child knows what to expect. Stick to the routine as much as possible, including nap time and bedtime. Set reasonable limits and follow them consistently.
-
Plan ahead. Run errands when your child isn’t likely to be hungry or tired. If you’re expecting to wait in line, pack a small toy or snack to occupy your child.
-
Encourage your child to use words. Young children understand many more words than they’re able to express. If your child isn’t yet speaking — or speaking clearly — teach him or her sign language for words such as “I want,” “more,” “drink,” “hurt” and “tired.” As your child gets older, help him/her put their feelings into words.
-
Let your child make choices. Avoid saying “no” to everything. To give your toddler a sense of control, let him/her make choices. “Would you like to wear your red shirt or your blue shirt?” “Would you like to eat strawberries or bananas?” “Would you like to read a book or build a tower with your blocks?”
-
Praise good behaviour. Offer extra attention when your child behaves well. Give your child a hug or tell your child how proud you are when he or she shares or follows directions.
-
Avoid situations likely to trigger tantrums. Don’t give your child toys that are far too advanced for him or her. If your child begs for toys or treats when you shop, try to steer clear of areas with these temptations. If your toddler acts up in restaurants, choose places that offer quick service.
Typically, the best way to respond to a tantrum is to stay calm and ignore the behaviour. You also might try to distract your child. A different book or a change of location might help.
But the above strategy doesn’t apply to an “escape” tantrum: a child going bonkers because he doesn’t want to do whatever it is you want him to (clean up, sit at the table, etc.). In this case, ignoring him gives him what he wants: You’re no longer demanding that he wear his coat, or whatever it is that needs to be done.
Putting him in a time-out chair doesn’t work, either, since that’s time he’s not putting on his jacket. “Every second he’s not complying, he’s winning”. Instead, tell your kid that if he doesn’t get dressed in five seconds, you’re going to put your hands on his and do it together.
-
Select a timeout spot. Seat your child in a boring place, such as in a chair in the living room or on the floor in the hallway. Wait for your child to calm down. Consider giving one minute of time-out for every year of your child’s age.
-
Stick with it. If your child begins to wander around before the timeout is over, return him or her to the designated timeout spot. Don’t respond to anything your child says while he or she is in timeout.
-
Know when to end the timeout. When your child has calmed down, discuss the reason for the timeout and why the behaviour was inappropriate. Then return to your usual activities.
If your child has a tantrum in public, ignore the behaviour if possible. If your child becomes too disruptive, take him or her to a private spot for a timeout.
Love
Neha Soni